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Old Jun. 20, 2017, 06:25 PM   #2021
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Default Re: zp life update thread

For some reason I thought I had posted here more recently.

Things are good. Hubs got a job, but he works in Edmonton now so I only see him once every month or so. My job is going really well and I recently found out that the company will essentially pay for courses related to my field, so I can take some marketing classes!

I also may have inadvertently started a swag war
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Old Jun. 20, 2017, 09:27 PM   #2022
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Default Re: zp life update thread

Man, this fucking job.

I'll spare the details. I got destaffed (not enough classes to keep my job, school district has to give me a full time job for next year) because one of my schools decided to cancel my program and not tell me about it. Next year I know that I am most likely teaching two AP classes at one school, and then who knows what else.

What a hell of a year
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Old Jun. 25, 2017, 04:14 PM   #2023
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Default Re: zp life update thread

Sorry, Muffler I know you really enjoy your work, so that has to be difficult. Is there any district that's doing a bit better and might be more stable, or do you just have to roll with what you've got there?

Congrats on the good news, Fuzzy! But what exactly is a swag war? :|


Soku & I are married now, so that's pretty great Now we're Mr. and Mrs. ZeldaPower. We just took a trip to Europe (my first time traveling there), which was beautiful and fun--but we're glad to be home now.
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Old Jun. 26, 2017, 08:29 PM   #2024
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Default Re: zp life update thread

I'm now married and have a kid
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Old Jun. 27, 2017, 01:04 AM   #2025
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Default Re: zp life update thread

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Sorry, Muffler I know you really enjoy your work, so that has to be difficult. Is there any district that's doing a bit better and might be more stable, or do you just have to roll with what you've got there?

Congrats on the good news, Fuzzy! But what exactly is a swag war? :|


Soku & I are married now, so that's pretty great Now we're Mr. and Mrs. ZeldaPower. We just took a trip to Europe (my first time traveling there), which was beautiful and fun--but we're glad to be home now.
Congrats on the wedding! It looks like you had a lot of fun. Please tell Soku her dress was AMAZING.

Also a swag war is basically when you work at a company that has a lot of logo'd products and try to outdo other companies that try to deck out a client with their products.

I went to see a client the other day and he was wearing a shirt from another radio station. So I told him I would get him a shirt from our TV station but I ALSO brought mugs as a one-up. When I dropped them off it turns out the reason they had those radio station shirts is because that station saw they had some mugs from our radio station.

We're the biggest media hub here, having 2 radio stations a TV station and now we've got online news as well. No one can out-swag us.
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Old Jun. 27, 2017, 08:00 AM   #2026
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Default Re: zp life update thread

oh yeah danish and swedish pilot organizations in the sound are also engaged in a swag war

one time we traded a danish pilot two cartons of cigarettes for some used pens and a faded coffee mug that had been used as a pencase judging by the ink trails in its bottom

luckily we got some decent swag a few weeks later after we complained about that which landed me a really cool hat
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Old Jun. 27, 2017, 06:34 PM   #2027
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Default Re: zp life update thread

Nice. I hope you get more stuff out of them.
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Old Jul. 4, 2017, 11:12 PM   #2028
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Default Re: zp life update thread

I'm just...gonna vomit words all over this thread. I know someone, somewhere might be concerned for my well-being.

So a few weeks ago, I was on the cusp of suicide. Life was really getting the better of me, and to put it frankly, I didn't want any part of it anymore. There are a number of reasons for that, which I won't go into to much detail on, but it boiled down to losing both of my jobs, my house, and my tendency to resort to controlled substances as a coping mechanism.

I've touched upon this in the past, but I've never really owned up to it. It's a huge source of shame for me. Having said that, I consider the lot of you family, and families don't lie to each other - at least, that's what I'm told.

Put shortly, I've struggled with drug addiction for most of my adult life, be it alcohol, marijuana, and even harder, more illegal drugs - namely, heroin. Whenever the going got rough, I would seek solace in intoxication, and when you're a trans person trying desperately to fit into a role that you are simply emotionally and neurologically incompatible with, things got rough a lot.

I thought I had broken that curse and achieved true sobriety, but looking back that was a lie. After all, addicts are are shitty people with shitty lives, right? I had a good job, and I was in a steady relationship. We were working toward buying a house! Despite all of this, I still drank. I still smoked. And when we broke up and things began to unravel, I started shooting up again.

I realized all at once that I hadn't won. I was still an addict. And that's when I broke. If I weren't for some kind words from some friends I've only ever known through the internet, I wouldn't be here right now. You know who you are.

I won't discuss everything that happened in the meantime, if only because it's kind of a blur. However, for the moment, I'm...making it, I guess. I'm living with my parents again, and unemployed, which annoys me to no end, because I'm fucking looking down the business end of 30 (sort of), and by all rights I should have my shit together. My folks had a laundry list of conditions I had to agree to, so it's almost like I'm a teenager again. I can't leave the house without them, nor am I allowed to drink. It's demeaning, but... I'm okay with that. Plus, it gives me all the time in the world to play WoW. Escapism is great.

I'm also attending a support group - something I never anticipated having to do, ever. It's weird, and uncomfortable, but it might be good for me. At the very least, it's nice to get to know people that are intimately familiar with exactly what you're going through.

I don't know if I'll ever truly overcome these dependencies. I still have my fair share of downs, and I'd be a liar if I said I didn't desperately want to get blackout drunk or lose myself in a drug-induced faux euphoria when they happen. But, for the moment, I feel like I might make it.

So...yeah. I had planned to write more, but I think that would be a waste of energy. I'm probably just going to go to bed. But before I hit that post button, I just wanted to thank you guys, particularly TK and Phil. As much as people like to say that online friendships aren't real or whatever, you guys have been there for me when I was ready to end it all, and it's because of you that I didn't. I owe you my life.
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Old Jul. 5, 2017, 06:13 AM   #2029
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Default Re: zp life update thread

I'm really glad you're still with us, Rach.

I've seen first hand what addiction can do to people, and I know it takes a really strong person to recognise that you have a problem and to do something about it.

I look up to you, you know. I think I'm not the only one. It's not blind hero worship, but you've been a little bit of a trailblazer and a source of support and advice for a lot of us on here, and I really admire that.
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Old Jul. 5, 2017, 11:02 AM   #2030
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Default Re: zp life update thread

i'm having trouble with the words right now. i'm just... relieved that you're okay, so relieved. i don't really have some big mushy post right now, just hardcore relief. thank you for this post, i'm so happy to hear from you again
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Old Jul. 5, 2017, 11:08 AM   #2031
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Default Re: zp life update thread

Super glad to hear that you're ok and getting support Rach, to echo symuun addiction is one of those things that can just fucking destroy people (and has killed people who are important to me) and I'm over the moon that you're bouncing back, you're probably the most tenacious person I've ever met tbh.

also I somehow doubt that my jokes about that fucking D.A.R.E lion saved your life, and I know you're never gonna get ow, but hey while you're in adult teen land if you wanna play some PUBG with the other adult teens that's a real good video game, that me Sy, and TK have been getting into lately.
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the only thing id like to say in regards to it is that like ive said before i think it bears reminding that white or i guess in this case cis babyism is a thing that shouldnt be trivialized

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Old Jul. 5, 2017, 10:18 PM   #2032
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Default Re: zp life update thread

Very glad you're alright and getting support.


Always remember, addiction doesn't make you a shitty person. Addiction is an illness, not a personality flaw. We're here for you whenever you need support.

And you matter. Obviously others have covered that much better than I can. But you do matter.
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Old Jul. 12, 2017, 10:54 PM   #2033
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Default Re: zp life update thread

As symuun said, I'm really glad you're with us as well, Rachel. Remember that you have a ton of people who care about you, and that you can reach out to those people anytime you need to.

I can't offer too many words of wisdom, but I've heard that addiction isn't something you just "beat." Instead, it's something you manage. That's what I've heard people who struggle with alcoholism say, anyway. And the good news is that heroin isn't something that's being pushed in your face constantly at every social gathering like alcohol, so it should hopefully come up less.

You need to know that having an addiction or substance problem doesn't make you a bad or lesser person. You're doing okay, and we are all rooting for you.
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Old Jul. 19, 2017, 12:17 PM   #2034
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Default Re: zp life update thread

Late, but I also agree that it is good you are still with us Rachael! just keep swimming as Dory from Finding Nemo would say.

I haven't really got much of a life update tbh. Nothing much changes in my life >_> though I will be 24 next week! kinda crazy.
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Old Jul. 19, 2017, 06:04 PM   #2035
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Default Re: zp life update thread

I don't really have any life updates either. I did recently buy an old CRT off craigslist to play my old video games on, though. Now I have scanlines and I can play Duck Hunt. This is a very exciting time for me.
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Old Jul. 19, 2017, 06:33 PM   #2036
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Oh - I'm living in a new house! How did I not talk about my new house yet?

It's a good house. Mostly. Some of the lights don't work and one of my windows is missing a vital component. Do you ship to the UK, Tom? But in any case, it's my house and I've got an office and a reclining chair and a microwave and sometimes I can go entire days without seeing another human face. It's great.

One of these days I'll even get around to putting up things like lampshades and mirrors. One of these days.
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Old Jul. 19, 2017, 09:33 PM   #2037
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Default Re: zp life update thread

Noice. Are you renting or did you outright buy it?
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Old Jul. 20, 2017, 04:11 AM   #2038
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Just renting - house prices are terrifying around here, and since I'm self-employed without a fixed income, I'm not sure any mortgage lenders would want to go anywhere near me anyway. Maybe some day.
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